That’s not a celebration, that’s a suicide attempt.

And watery tarts lobbing swords.

In high school, I umped little league for some extra cash. Not once did I have a problem with a kid arguing a call. It was always coaches/parents who thought their kid was about 5 years from being the first 17 year old to win Rookie-of-the-year and MVP in same season.

Oh, you’re one of those people. I will, without fail, kick you out of my seat.

You are the reason it takes twice as long to board an aircraft than it should. Thanks for making life a little more miserable for the rest of us.

Vlad would’ve driven this pitch into right for a double.

Panda would’ve swung at it. Vlad would’ve hit it.

Based on what I know about tag, if you make it back to base then you’re safe.

“Just OK shirts”

:( I tried adopting Melo but he was missing his shots.

Change gear, change gear, change gear, check mirror... murder a prostitute. Change gear, change gear, murder.

Clearly the answer is to get rid of the kid

Not since the Spanish Armada has Drake inspired such fear in an opponent.

Obviously not his parents.

Red Sox players do something similar, except instead of exercise balls, they use Pablo Sandoval.

The question really just came out wrong. What he meant to ask was:

How do people jump so high? I’m 6 inches taller than this kid and could only just reach the rim. A vertical leap of over 30 inches is super human. That kid can fly.