Exhibit 1:

To be honest, Fucked Future is probably the most accurate.

Car buying advice for Millennials - get a $600 Volvo and forget about car payments.

If I was a dog I’d be wagon my tail

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

McLaren’s will just be a papaya emoji.

MORANGE

I think the process is a bit tougher than tossing stuff in a Jersey landfill.

Without a profit motive it’s possible that none of these companies would be working on self-driving tech.

On the flip side, Google, a corporation that uses litigation to rid itself of competition regularly, is suing someone. I’m shocked too.

So Waymo lawsuits?

I got violent on weed once. Wrote an internet comment in all caps.

Lawyer: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we’ve all heard the expression, “Shoot or get off the pot.”

Man, ask a guy to give you the number of an escort and he gets all pissy…

This is one time when SEO didn’t want to be found out.

I’m at my desk with a bloody mary right now. And if we can’t make rape jokes about inanimate objects, the terrorists (and/or Jezebel) have already won.

It’s like an Aston Martin had a few too many drinks and the Prius didn’t technically say “no.”

Still only the second scariest worm I’ve ever heard of:

That’s just journalist Clark Kent. Is he some kind of hero? I’ve never thought his Planet stuff was particularly heroic, so unless he has some kind of secret identity that nobody has told me about, I don’t see what you are getting at.