I fly out of DIA anywhere from 1-4 times a month. I have never waited in security longer than 15 minutes. I do not have priority access.

Are you fucking high? DIA is one of the better airports for convenience outside of being a million miles from town.

People who take their kids to breweries and bars that also happen to serve some food are the worst of the worst. They are all, without reservation, 20 and 30-somethings who don’t want to give up their lifestyle of going out and getting tanked but are too cheap/stupid/whatever to get a babysitter. I don’t want to…

His name is Jason Pierre Paw.

I host cheap sex parties, too. They involve one person, some lotion, and end with tears.

True story. I once dumped a girl because her favorite cracker was a Triscuit. I couldn’t look her in the eye after learning this. Well that and she fucked my roommate. I still get bitter and angry about it all these years later. Triscuits? How could she have been such a bad person?

I fucking hate Chevy Guy. He looks like a goddamn serial killer. Plus, why the fuck does Chevy feel the need to tell us the people in the commercials are “real people, not actors”? Are they suggesting actors aren’t real people but robots? Shut the fuck up, like these people don’t know that (a) they are in a commercial…

Most people I know would be thrilled to get a letter from the President elect.

It’s the simple pleasures... like eating gas inducing foods while wearing a snowsuit

“Midwesterner” mean Ohio, etc. That ain’t North Dakota in a blizzard.

I think that’s the right way of looking at it!

Idea for extra innings (that baseball purists can shoot holes in should they so want): Remove one fielder for each extra inning. Doesn’t matter which one. Let each team decide. Don’t want a left fielder in the tenth? How about no shortstop and center fielder in the eleventh?

What does it say about posting celeb sex vids?

I think it would only be fair to give Clinton unlimited powers of persecution in this investigation, only what to call it?

Joined Kinja just because this needs more stars.

A simple solution: Appoint an independent counsel to investigate the problems at Baylor. I nominate William Jefferson Clinton.

The personal experience of a lawyer friend matches up with that. Sadly none of this is surprising.

The Cardinals have lost 22 games. Jorge Soler’s number is 68. Michael Wacha’s number is 52.

Excuse me? Pellman was also an expert called to give congressional testimony on the lack of a steroid problem in baseball. So, yes, he dabbles in head injuries and football and how the two are totally unrelated. But he also provided valuable insight into how baseball was completely clean back in the early ‘00s.