Dude, I’m a pretty big nerd too, but this should not be your hill to die on. Per the dictionary, a tertiary definition of to wrench is:

Our polite sensibilities only extend so far. Then we just get anxious and uptight like the British.

It’s almost like he’s just a person and not imbued with the spirit of a random god.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record: Anastasia Gel Pomade $18, their perfect brush with spoolie also $18. Done and done.

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher’s love reminds me of That ‘70s Show.

My bigger question is why he was talking about Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis after completing a triathlon. Let the man enjoy his physical accomplishment! Quit asking him weird questions about former co-workers!

I got an Ulta pencil with a gel/wax on the other end, which was ok. I used to use Gimme Brow but then lost it, so I bought the Givency eyebrow pencil. No joke, I’ve had it for 18 months and I’ve barely made a dent in it. Makes me feel better about spending $35 on a fucking eyebrow pencil, ya know? It doesn’t have a…

Don’t feel sorry for me. I feel so incredibly good at my age now. My parents did a number on me and as much as I hated the thought of getting old, being 44 is the most freeing age ever. I hated and feared turning “my 40’s” and yet it is the only time in my entire life that is entirely mine. I fucking love it. I do…

Ooooh, look at Allison Janney’s trophy. And her Emmy.

As to whether or not she’d ever consider voluntarily going under the knife...

I’ve had jobs that were worse than unemployment. I’ve also had the misfortune of having to stay at a job that beat me down for years.

Try L’Oreal Brow Stylist Plumper. The wand is small-ish (not as small as the Gimme Brow) and the product is the same as far as I have been able to tell. Now, neither of these are going to have great hold, in which case I recommend Anastasia Brow Gel in clear, but you do you. http://www.ulta.com/ulta/browse/pr…

‘I slept with a bunch of women! they’re all trash obviously because women are just good for one thing, but *I* am a king because I get laid just so much, all the time! screw you, girls that wouldn't date me because they could tell what a douche i am!’

I’d consider him a solid 9.5 in terms of punchability.

We didn’t always say nice things, and sometimes we were downright mean. Sometimes I just vented about frustrating experiences in an am immature, hateful, and foolish way.

My all-time favorite brow pencil is Nyx’s Micro Brow Pencil. It's a perfect dupe for the Anastasia Brow Whiz, but a quarter of the price. It's waxy but pigmented (which is how I like my pencils!) & if you shop at Ulta, you can use coupons & occasionally get the buy one get one half deal. They come down to like $3.00…

I’d be happy if she’d just take her finger out of her mouth.

I wish my hair did ANYTHING.

I became somewhat close with a manicurist during a time when I was getting my nails done regularly. We weren’t friends, but I liked her and we did have real conversations about things. Among other things, she told me about how she and her husband got to America, beginning with paying someone to help them stow away on…

I can talk about Game of Thrones for hours. I am crazy about that show. But there is no way that it was the best-written show of the year. The writing this season was appalling. So many of the narrative decisions made no sense.