Amy Poehler?

I had a dong in the 90s, too. Ironically, I called it Garth Brooks.

HA! Well, in my defense the last handheld gaming system I used was a DS about seven years ago, so...

(Hides blushing cheeks in hands; backs away sheepishly.)

1) Oh man, those teeth.

2) It looks like she's never played a video game in her life, the way she's holding it and tapping her fingers that AREN'T EVEN ON THE BUTTONS.

It'll take some digging through the ol' Polaroids, but I'll try my best to deliver! (GET IT?! Deliver? I think my work here is done...)

I am 4'10" on a good day, and I know that this is what I would look like pregnant: stretched to the limits.

Related: my mom, who is shorter than me, bore twins (my brothers) and to this day I can't look at the pictures of her before their birth.

I've been dating a guy for six months and neither of us have yet to update our status; doesn't bother either of us one iota. But good point in the second sentence.

All I can see here is "giant reconstructed diaper."

No hate for safety pins though: I have one tattooed on my left hip. (Stolen, I might add, from an early 2000s Skechers ad. Yes, you read that right...)

I was assuming it was for the gutter of the print magazine - photo shoots are sometimes staged so that there is the correct spacing already for text or the fold.

Very well put.

Pretty sure the comments mostly support the fact that the article was a terrible take on what Brown said and that, in fact, he was raped as a child.

Same. Even if it's not playing in the background, I play it in my head.

Jesus. This must be in the States, right? I've never seen that in Canada. (Though I don't frequent DQ as often as I used to; there was a decade growing up though that my mom boycotted McDonald's because they got her order wrong and she was just "fed up" - her words. The Queen was then out go-to.)

Am I reading this right? Her daughter is listed as one of the artists?

I bet you that is the mpreg community's Citizen Kane.

I can't wait to explain to people my true identity when people ask me, "So, are you a Christmas tree?"

One year I was the lead munchkin from the lollipop guild. I am a grown woman who is shorter than most 12-year-olds, and I enjoy self deprecating humour, oversized lollipops, and the occasional butt play.

Tell me you had triangular weights! TELL ME YOU HAD TRIANGULAR WEIGHTS!!!

Where did you get the strongman costume?! I work at a fitness magazine, and that would nab our office's costume prize for sure. (Alternative: I'm going to dress as my boss, the results of which could go either way.) Also: pictures!

When my husband and I split (man, a lot of my posts start with those words), I gave the ring back voluntarily: it was his deceased grandma's, and he hadn't used it to propose to me (I proposed to him, which is another topic of many of my posts. LOL).

Plus, I think that as I was the breaker-off-er, even if he had…