Some of us are from the parts of Pennsylvania that don't suck, and we will fight you over our good name. We're where the history comes from.

Why did I have to scroll down this far to see if anyone had beaten me to this?

Hurry up, he's getting too old for this shit.

Well, this is Tinder, and there's almost never anything good to reference, if anything at all. On OKC I make a very strong effort to reference things in profiles that shows I read more than the first and last lines.

I don't know, I hear life there is like a hurricane.

I go with something weird as my opening line, like "Ok, ok, hear me out - what if we're living backwards in time, and apes are actually descended from us?"

Don't keep us in suspense, we need to know what to think!

My experience with Bumble has been that there are virtually no matches, and on the rare occasions there are, the person I've matched with doesn't start the conversation.

Thanks, going to go walk into traffic now.

No, no, they came here to do the jobs Americans refuse to: brewing shitty beer.

Dewey Crowe was enough Crowe for the entire show. In fact, it could have been…
Dew-dew-dew-dew
It's the Dewey Crowe Show
Dewey Crowe
It's the Dewey Crowe Show
Dewey Crowe
Too stupid to live!
Too stupid to live!
It's the Dewey Crowe Show
Dewey Croweeeeeeeeee

You know what though? I am my fucking khakis.

Are you saying that dead Teddy Roosevelt has more stamina than his two eternal bear wives?

Well yeah, but how else could they take a picture of it? THE LIGHT TURNS OFF WHEN THE DOOR IS CLOSED!

"What the shit?" is one of my favorite expressions of confusion. I also use "Jesus SHIT" instead of "Jesus CHRIST."

Ex Machina was no Y: The Last Man or Saga, but Vaughn seems incapable of bad - you hit it on the head here, Ex Machina definitely showed how we'll cower in fear from evil and become that evil practically in the same moment.

Come on, no one has done that in hundreds of… microseconds.

That's an entirely different series altogether.

Whatever, just remember to drink it.

Yes, yes I do. What part of "most qualified candidate in most people's lifetimes vs. guy bragging about sexual assault and being taken to court for statutory rape" do you not get? The problem wasn't Comey, the problem was that those states were decided by less than 1 million votes each.