That’s why I have zero sympathy for missionaries. Why not focus on the mess at home instead of using your religion to make the lives of others miserable?

That sounds so good. Mine is cornbread with onions, celery, mushrooms and sage - basic but tasty. But yeah, if all you ever have is Stovetop you’ll get the wrong idea.

There’s something wrong with people who don’t like traditional stuffing. If you make it right, it’s a savory bread pudding and makes a much better gravy-absorber than your boring potatoes. And it’s so simple that if you don’t make it right, you probably shouldn’t be trying to cook on Thanksgiving anyhow.

If it were anyone else (that wasn’t under investigation by the DOJ) I would have chuckled. It’s an okay joke, ruined by a much bigger, sadder joke.

I really want to know how they get the turkey pee out of the hotel carpet. I don’t know what that says about me. 

Hmmm...I’m noticing that they’re WHITE turkeys. 

Our president is perfectly happy with smearing the name of a murdered journalist in the interest of maintaining lucrative weapons contracts

If they were serious about stopping that orange oedema from spewing lies and nonsense, they would change the password on his twitter and set up a fake dummy app for him where he could write whatever asinine things he wants, but it would never be posted to the internet

Funny how we’ve been doing these briefings for almost 100 years and this administration is the first one to feel the need to issue restrictive rules of conduct.

It me...

Of course those tapes exist, OF COURSE. And they’ll leak, without question. And we’ll all get super giddy and lose our shit and it’ll be a super fun Friday for us all. But then nothing will happen and I want to die.

Remember, these are ‘ketchup on steak’ tastebuds we’re talking about, here. He’d give a Michelin star to an actual tire.

That’s fine; more Night Train for me!

As if France could give a fuck about shitty American wine.

I suggested driving. Secret Service said NO, too far from airport & big Paris shutdown.

“Trump is shaking!!!”

That is peak Grandpa house.

It suits him. This way the only thing that shines is his perfect enunciation.

Well at least we can all agree that they’re both the worst. 

Any ideas about the large X-shaped scar on Michonne’s lower back, approximately where the left kidney would be?