Momma. I think she was about 17 here.

Magnificent.

My grandmother in the 40s/50s. The irony is she was always on my case for looking “too sexy” and how embarrassing that was to her. I didn’t come across this photo until after she passed. Needless to say, if I catch her on the flip side we will be having words.

My mom

who, me?

Weird, I wonder where the dog/roman candle story came from...

hell yeah ryan cousins at the lake house

Nope, right there with ya! I try to stretch dry cleaning drop offs as lonnnnngggg as possible. I actually bought a steamer last year too, which certainly helps, if you are looking for additional ways to be gross :)

Fun fact, “contact high” actually refers to a psychological phenomenon.

Yeah you’d have be touching the exact spot where they applied it, in the rare circumstance that someone applied it externally rather than orally.

Huh, I’m glad you had good success with this! I tried it with a cashmere sweater once and it didn’t really do anything, which upset me. I’m sure fabric type has a lot to do with it, so maybe I will try that with a heavier fabric!

A contact high, even a psychedelic one, would be the last thing I’d worry about “catching” from touching people at a Dead show.

Sex might be the only thing he does anymore that’s below par.

You guys, my Jolie Kerr tribute band, Vinegar is Magic, is playing another show tomorrow night. As a reminder, the band consists of me singing a slightly off pitch rendition of “So Fresh, So Clean” in my shower over and over again. The show starts at 8:00pm, or whenever I get back from the gym. Nobody came last week,…

Wow. I mean, how did that guy imagine that going? What possible outcome could you be hoping for when you aim a firework straight at your crotch?

My labrador is not a fan of fireworks, firearms, or thunder.

Please think of us before you set off your fireworks.

Unsure if making “I just shit myself” joke

Why, he’s already three quarters of the way through the lobby.

I support that story I read the other day about All Star voting and how they need to make it a one-night event. This whole tweeting the results and no running count is lame. I mean nobody truly cares about it anyway, but if you’re gonna do it, make it an event.