Fucking Emo Phillips, man. I knew that son-of-a-bitch was no good.

Can the Bills convert to 3 downs instead of 4?

At this point, I’m reasonably sure that the people who write his press releases and/or teleprompter cues are bored, hate him, and are actively fucking with him because who gives a shit...they’re all probably going to be losing their jobs soon anyway.

I have one friend who uses ONLY snapchat to chat with friends. So if I want to communicate with her, it’s my only option. That’s LITERALLY the only time I ever open snapchat.

We’re not meant to live anywhere but earth.

I forgot that I watched needful things in the theatre. I didn’t put it on my list, but only because I completely wiped it’s memory from my mind.

This is going to be dating myself a bit here. But I have two, and ironically enough, they were both written by the same screenwriter (Alan McElroy), though I didn’t know that going in

The ability to set individual permissions was like mana from heaven when Android FINALLY brought it. They lagged behind Apple for what seemed like forever in this regard.

Consider this:

Perhaps not everybody’s sense of fun, especially in the morning (where I personally like to be grumpy), but hardly anything to report on.

It doesn’t define what he means by “porn”. There are plenty of cam-girls for example that are entirely solo acts. It’s easily possible to do “porn” quote-unquote and never “bob up and down on someone’s dick” as you say.

Maybe I’m just working too hard to give Russell Crowe the benefit of the doubt, but I think I actually get what he was trying to say regarding “sensitivity”.

At this rate, I’d be surprised if there IS a U.S.A by 2072, let alone one with enough clout to annex anything.

So I know that it’s only something behind his head; maybe a piece of the wall or the flag.

Quietly hums the Canadian national anthem to himself, both counting his blessings and hoping that Trumps bullshit doesn’t fuck up the international community toooo badly.

If you invent a currency tomorrow and convince at least one other person to take it in return for goods or services, it’s money.

They earned the grade they received

No. Go fuck yourself. You are the worst kind of entitled fucking employee. If I say you start at 8am. It means that you are actively on the floor DOING YOUR JOB at 8am. You’re not in the back, putting your jacket away, getting your morning coffee and chatting with coworkers as you ‘prepare for your day’. You are ON…

I’m not interested in ‘winning over’ anyone of faith. I’m interested in them getting the fuck out of way so that humanity can finally move forward and away from dark age superstition.

It’s oddly adorable that he thinks he will actually still be president by then instead of choosing which tie goes best with an orange prison jump suit.