“Top this, Jon Bois.”

This is why aliens have not contacted us yet.

Hey there... it’s been a while. Remember how we used to take out demons at point-blank range? Knocking down a line of zombies with one pull of the trigger?

A noted cultural critic points out that the game’s depiction of several female characters could be improved. Angry gamer types rush to the defense of the game and the developers, dispite the complete lack of calls to censor or ban the title. Edgelords buy the game just to spite the “dang dirty ess-jay-double-u’s” as…

I would play the fuck out of that.

You ever see a male rat? To put it politely, their groins are pretty big targets.

You haven’t finished the game yet, but you’ve already won.

That Mario Kart one could of lead to a fist fight.

That targeted advertising goes back a long way.

I once tried to get a job with Konami as a slot technician. Wasn’t experienced enough.

Muscle Queens from Outer Space

Clearly the best way to test this theory is to use the works of Rob Lifield.

People just need to grow the hell up.

Nope, that’s just how tough A-10s are.

Oh god, that guy. I’m sure he’s ecstatic over all this.

As horribly unbalanced TFC could be, I do miss a lot of the variety of the various game modes that it came packaged with and what mappers came up with on their own. Oh, and maps with three or four teams.

There is one great classic Nintendo title that deserves representation.