Yeah, but no one offered her a three year development deal.

And?

Uh...

Why would she do that?

Mariah, I love you girl, but you are d-u-n dun.

Trump does not drink alcohol.

You’ve obviously never gigged frogs and had them for supper that night.

Neither one of them drinks alcohol, what does it matter?

Fuck you, Mitt.

We’re all calling him ‘Munchkin’, right?

Star Wars, for one: http://www.cracked.com/article_24389_7-trailers-famous-movies-that-were-absurdly-full-s2A2At.html

I want that NOW!

Do you think my black ass looks like your research assistant? I didn’t think so.

Google.com.

Chimamanda is insufferable. Remember how anti-makeup she was before she got a job flogging makeup? I do.

They don’t, actually. There are two valid schools of thought on that one.

So, if this law had been in effect when I had a miscarriage at six months, not only would I have to have paid for a D&C, I would have had to pay for a cremation?

That is no way to talk about Needledick the Bugfucker.

Award shows are boring as fuck. #teamphone

Fuck Jill Stein.