You know what’s awkward? Having an acquaintances 6 year old grab at my charm bracelet and then relentlessly beg me for two of the charms off of it.

My dog, Princess Trudy, died this afternoon. I’m overwhelmed with emotion, but amazed at the love outpouring from family and friends. She was 16 1/2, and had a great life.

Ask her what she thinks. She’s probably heard some things through school, family, etc...

I bingewatched both the movie and the netflix series “wet hot american summer.” what magic is paul rudd using, because that man did not age a day.

Geez, the poor guy! I don’t care how gross he was, that’s terrible.

So, who wants lunch? My treat.

When I hand it to her, I tell her, “No charge for the extra blood!” She doesn’t even blink, snatches the package and leaves.

So basically someone DIDN’T hurt anyone with a shoe bomb fourteen years ago and now we have to take off our shoes at the airport but literally tens of thousands of men, women, and children (including first graders in their school - a pile of bullet-riddled six-year-olds who still believed in Santa Claus) have been…

At least in this one, it appears that the gunman is the only fatality.... (Help me, I’m looking for silver linings this week)

See, also, “no, I’m sorry I can’t get you cappuccino, our steam nozzle is broken.”

There was only one time I ever would’ve straight refused to get a customer what they ordered, and that time was the legendary day when one restaurant I was working at had “French Onion Cheddar” as the soup of the day. It was literally onion soup with nacho cheese in it. At the morning lineup, I was the only server…

Actually, not necessarily true. I have many times warned customers away from a particular product. Usually it was actually because the product was bad.

God, that last one is like a Monty Python sketch. It’s ex-ice cream! It’s ice cream pining for the fjords!

It feels awful to see these beautiful species slipping through our fingers. And for what? Bullshit Chinese medicine, trophies for small dicked hunters? Humanity is the worst. I wish we could take every trophy hunter, ivory buyer and bullshit medicine user into a fenced in area and let the animals hunt THEM.

NB4 the false equivalence arguments re: abortion, humans being murdered, any other kinds of suffering, meat eaters aren’t allowed to care, etc.

The point this entire time has been: RICH ASSHOLES NEED TO STOP POACHING ENDANGERED ANIMALS.

Anyone else having conservative friends and family taking advantage of the situation and posting stuff equivalent to: “Its not ok to kill a lion but you can kill an unborn child?” So sick of nonequivalent comparisons. And its not like saying anything to them does anything but enrage them. blah. Poor Cecil.

The wife became very alarmed when she saw dolphin on our menu and proceeded to loudly berate me for serving dolphin. I explained several times that the dolphin on our menu was a different creature than the one she was thinking of, even pointing to a large plastic Mahi we had hanging over the bar.

Wasn’t Mahi historically known as Dolphin and the Mahi name is recent because of people reacting like that? I remember them eating dollphin in Kon-Tiki and finding out it was the fish, not the mammal.

Nah, the Romulans were powerful and to be feared and respected. In other words, nothing like Ted Cruz. The Ferengi, on the other hand ...

Don’t let him fool you people, Ted Cruz is a FUCKING ROMULAN!