Finally I get to share my story publicly in a setting where people WANT to hear it!!! In December 2014, I started having really massive stomach cramps. I thought perhaps I had eaten something bad, or was PMSing, but these cramps were constant. I couldn’t sleep, I stopped being able to eat. I couldn’t stand up…

I remember doing the sitting on a toilet while puking in a trash can thing after drinking an E. coli smoothie. The highlight was when my then two year out son barged in, stood right in front of me and started marching in place while singing ya ya ya ya over and over again. It’s funny now, but in the state I was in,…

Two weeks postpartum, taking a shower, trying to avoid even touching the fiery pus-oozers that were my nipples (thanks breastfeeding), when I feel something fall out of me, followed by a THUNK on the floor of the bathtub. I look down and see a baseball-sized blood clot. And because I was sleep deprived and hungry and…

I have adenomyosis. It causes my period to come out in clots, not in a flow.

I feel like I can’t compete with the writer’s story, but for me it was a period/virus combo. I had clots the size of guinea pigs dropping out of my vagina as I sat shaking on the toilet shitting my brains out while throwing up into a trashcan.

#Jezspin2016

Can we make Jezpin a regular occurrence? Like casual Fridays.

Hey! I can help with this! I actually had Darth Vader at MY 5th birthday party (which is also the only surprise party I’ve ever had!).

Men also work at Jezebel. Well, one does.

If this is April Fools I’m going to stop washing my sheets.

It’s simple, really.

1/2 situations in which Men use the toilet require the seat to be down (unless you shit standing up, which...is just impressive)

2/2 situations in which Women use the toilet require the seat to be down.

Therefore 3/4 times the toilet seat needs to be down.


edit: holy fuck people I’m not saying Men…

In my field, everyone temps for at least three years after they complete their masters degree. In my case, I worked for eight months a year, was laid off for four, and then would get picked up for another contract just as the money would run out (and just before prostitution would start to look like a valid option.)
Fel…

Actually outcomes were super gendered. The most fascinating case is probably the Chevalier D’Eon, who was either a trans woman or a man who lived as a woman in order to secure clemency for a long and dramatic career as a spy.

YES IT IS TOO DIRTY OH MY GOD

WHAT? WHY? OH MY GOD, STOP DOING THAT.

am p upset rn, not gonna lie

“Pssh, I’m going to break federal and state laws because I hate getting money.”

“There appears to be a dead mouse in this mousetrap which is not described as being there on the database.”