Marijuana.

I am commemorating Mark Sanchez today by browsing Deadspin at work. In other words, by being an unproductive employee that's holding on to my job for too long simply because there are no better options available to my employer

That now makes two things Sanchez and Stevie Wonder have in common: cornrows, and the inability to see what's directly in front of them.

the face to the butt is obviously awesome, but the most underrated part of the buttfumble is the faceplant at the end. he looks like my 4 month old after about 3 minutes of tummy time.

To be fair, A-Rod has blown up in April before.

Score one for dudes with curly mullets.

Have you seen these stories?!: http://deadspin.com/tag/dook
Please explain to me how anything but the Jabari Parker stories are "Duke Worship" THAT'S what that comment is the dumbest fucking comment. Anyone that reads this site knows how you pretty much HAVE to hate Duke to even work at Deadspin. Even the fucking…

This is the dumbest fucking comment I've seen on the internet in a very long time.

The most important question that inexplicably was not asked:

Hey whats your favorite team?

Most watchable baseball has been in years.

Do you think it's odd for a sports talk show host to have a fascination, some might call obsession, with a star player such as yourself?

Schroedinger's defense.

Could be worse- a preternaturally horny Hideki Matsui once spent 7 weeks on the DL after placing himself in a vacuum.

This is the ultimate in "Whoever wins, we all lose" standoffs. Does anyone want A-Rod to win? No. Does anyone want to see MLB's PED hypocrisy upheld? No. It's really the crown jewel of Selig's tenure as Commish.

man, wouldn't wanna be the hooters server who gets him for lunch today.

Just because he's right doesn't make him any less of an asshole.

YEAH JEETS

Even Roger Goodell finds it absolutely ridiculous that, in today's day and age, a professional sports league can serve as judge, jury, and executioner for one of its players.

Do you really want to live in a world where anyone likes a mood altering substance is considered diseased?