Yeah, absolutely! Food safety is no joke.

Here's the saddest part for me: that I was really glad that the school's reaction was to talk to the police instead of covering it up or handling it themselves.

I mean, if you get caught bragging about a crime, of course you say it's a hoax. I don't buy it.

Wait, I thought it was women who lie about rape...

FUCK THIS ASSHOLE! I am not convinced that he made this up. Let's say he did, he's still a fucking asshole for even doing this! I don't condone violence, but I hope someone gives him a good beating.

Is he seriously trying to use the "just kidding" excuse? It doesn't work for children and it certainly doesn't work for vivid rape stories.

Is it wrong for me to be unhappy that we haven't yet learned Mr. 7122's name?

Wait, are we just taking this kid's word for it that it was all just made up? Like, once there was any danger of him actually getting in trouble, he was all "Hahahah, JK, guys! I really had you going there, right?" PRETTY HILARIOUS.

Sorry, but this is way too specific and the tone is way too on point for me to buy this as a hoax.

I feel so bummed on behalf of Gordon Ramsay sometimes. I mean, boohoo for the rich famous guy....but if you watch the shows he makes for the UK (thinking of old Kitchen Nightmares episodes specifically), he's actually super nice, seems really invested in helping people fix problems affecting their businesses and…

It's not fair to FLAME Ramsey this way.

He's dealing with a bunch of UNSEASONED chefs — kids with some RAW ability but UNRIPENED skills. It's no surprise Gordon was TART, SPICY, or ACIDIC — or that the kids got BURNED.

(Am I doing this correctly?)

ACTUALLY, I'll defend him here a little bit: have you ever seen him with his kids (he has four)? He's actually really, really cute with them—like, he strikes me as a good dad.

I'm surprised he only swore twice.

I'm revoking your punning privileges for the rest of the day, Erin.

Why is this news? I thought that the yelling was part of his schtick in the first place. Isn't this why he has a reality show in the first place?

Right. Because Rick Perry never gets anything wrong. Except three things.

At this point in societal evolution, the words "There's ________ porn?" do not need to be uttered. The answer is always "yes".

I really hope no one else can see my search history after today.

Yes, but that's true of EVERYTHING

I enjoyed the fuck out of that.