I'm embarrassed to admit that I'd probably try gnocchi made from McD's fries. I like their french fries, there's nothing better on a road trip than hot fries and a cold coke.

Well, at least now it tastes like SOMETHING. You can't imagine how bad some assisted living center food is, even worse than hospital food. :(

Yes, because if there's one thing the studios and their financial backers care about it's. . .upsetting feminists?! Have you. . .actually watched any movies in the last twenty years? Oh, and I'm sure the new star trek and star wars movies ought to prove to you that studios don't give a good goddamn about pissing off…

So. . .who took her to the hospital? This should not be hard to figure out. Did police or paramedics drop her off? Did someone drivc her over? If she was unconscious SOMEONE brought her in. Doesn't the hospital keep records of who brought in a patient who clearly did not arrive by herself? If not, shouldn't…

I wish I was in a position to help financially. I will certainly spread the word to people who can.

It sounds almost too good to be true. I wish them the best of luck.

Yes, that's what I came here to add. The Amish in my area have no problem with modern medicine! In fact, many of them actively participate in cutting-edge genetic testing and treatment, because their community is so vulnerable to certain genetic diseases.

God, nothing says teenager like wallowing in sad movies. I don't think any of these were part of the sadsturbation routine though. My sis and I wore out two VHS tapes of 'Steel Magnolias.' That was our go-to cryfest.

Thank you! So many commenters here are saying stuff like "Oh, shocking, fraternity guys being douchebags." This is so, so, so far from just fratboy shenanigans.

Assault, rape, and intimidation of witnesses? I'd say that goes a little bit beyond "douchey assholes."

Thank you for this info.

Eh, you have a year to send those, at least according to every etiquette guide I've ever seen. I wouldn't worry.

A dog's ass?

Seriously? Well that's a punch to the gut. I know the gendering has gotten ridiculous in the toy aisles but I hoped that books were still safe. Damn. Looks like we'll be making pilgrimages to our local half-price bookstore.

I heart you.

Ahhh, but there was always trashy stuff, don't you remember? I remember ordering some silly Garfield joke book. Honestly, as long as they're reading SOMETHING it doesn't have to be a masterpiece.

How exciting! What grade(s) do you teach? Do they still do summer book kits?

Aww, really? I mean, I understand why, and that's great that they save paper, but still...disappointing.

Scholastic book sales! I'm unreasonably excited for the day that my child is old enough to bring an order form home.

Pre-chewing your kid's food? What a delightful way to introduce all your nasty grown-up mouth bacteria to a young child! The idiotic anti-vaccine blather is just the icing on the cake. Or the mayo on the shit sandwich, whatever.