i always thought the eagles would have been a bad idea because sauron is a giant eye. he would totally see a bunch of giant eagles moving in, especially if they were carrying his damn ring. hobbits, though? sauron barely even knew that hobbits existed.

that seems like something that would be more up teller's alley.

well, so long as everyone dies in the end.

*shoots empty bottle of whiskey, duct tapes glass shards together in the shape of a star, places it on the tree*

i thought he was dead, and now i feel really bad about assuming that.

and so we are lead to another pun thread, like lambs to the slaughter.

i'm not even going to grant them the credit of basic decency. it's just cya.

jughead reveals himself to be the physical incarnation of the god dionysus, rockets away into the heavens.

archie isn't a loser, he's an asshole.

so long as jughead's expression never changes once during the entire run of the show.

the av club

every time there's a pun thread, i get a little satyr.

*waves block-hands about in excitement*

well, it's highly instructional.

chief?

i just read a thing where some dudes are claiming dark matter is what causes consciousness. so you know, that's a thing.

one of his miracles was to bench press the twelve apostles.

and now, a reading from the book of onan.

they're working dogs without work.

there is a deep sadness in the eyes of every dachshund.