why can't we go back to the good old days, when a man's entire extended family was executed for his misdeeds, unto the fourth degree

ha! he'll retire when pigs fly!

my car belonged to my sister before me, and it still has all of her tapes from high school! the cranberries! shawn mullins!

desire is the cause of suffering, my son

this is very close to actual conspiracy theories believed by actual people

new pope not horrible, lapsed catholics worldwide "relieved, embarrassed"

his current outer husk is thirty two. franco has known many forms.

if you tell too many of these jokes, you'll end up as a withered, dried up husk.

good will hunting 666: the devil is in the details

ok, on my second try it called me "syphilis cankersore"

i got the exact same name, and i feel cheated and wronged

how many monkeys in that one?

outbreak! sounds like it should be the name of a board game.

i loved the rain of shrimp. and i think it's a good kid moment, because being stuck in a supermarket can be so tedious and dull for a kid, and there's all these things you want to try to do if they would just let you run around…

or both!

i hope that there are literally two tiny demons behind ethan's eyes, and they have witty banter while they try to figure out just what in the hell is going on with this show. they'll be the nick and nora charles of demonic eyeballs!

5 dislikes were from harald hardrada!

that's fine, i don't want any spoilers. i'll burn that bridge when i get there

that almost makes it sound a bit frightening, but all right.

or… i could destroy time itself, trapping myself and the entire universe in one eternal episode of bunheads!