"Three rings. Zero murder raps. Just sayin'." - Tom Brady

Is that BRIAN MOTHER-HUMPING DENNEHEY presenting Dwayne Wade with his new car? That, my friends, is a little something the kids like to call "Baller."

Heh, heh, heh, the word of God said "comes in his glory."

I happen to know for a fact that 9/11 happened because He got distracted by a shoe box full kittens.

I feel bad for all of the men and women of the cloth who are furiously scrambling to rewrite their sermons for tomorrow.

Earlier that afternoon...

RICK CARLISLE: "Beard face, you're in."

+1

Oh man, I hope Tebow is wearing protection because he's going to get SO much hand-holding tonight!

I hope Tebow has protection because he is going to get SO much hand-holding tonight.

+1

+1

COLLINSWORTH: Brees has got it going on this year.

Somebody has to grab a picture of the Hillbilly Boba Fett they captured in the crowd shot just before the Saints offense took over after the interception.

Is it just me or does Matt Stafford look exactly like Blaster from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome? It's not just me, right?

Well, I'm just happy to see that Marcus Bachmann was able to come in to work today seeing as his beard, er...wife, i meant wife, ended her presidential campa...what's that? That's not Marcus Bachmann? His name is Tom Hammond? My bad.

Pretty sure [name indecipherable] was Bob Simmons who was head coach of OSU from 1995 to 2000. If this Sittler guy is to be believed, the brain trust at OU knew that black recruits would choose OSU over OU, solely because they could play for a black coach. Which, is why almost all of the head coaches in the FBS are…

It's amazing how all of the sports figures who have been accused of child molestation totally look like child molesters.

Kim Jong-Il LOVED movies so much that he once arranged for the kidnapping of a South Korean director and his actress wife and forced them to make films for him. So, bit of advice for the members of the U.S. Pro-Ball Asia Tour: Get yourself on the first flight back to America.