Ugh, I am so glad I just rented Blair Witch. Though it is 1.5 hours of my life I will never get back. I feel bad for people that actually paid good money to see that and feel everyone deserves their money back for that travesty.

Um...people who live paycheck to paycheck, and their landlords, grocers, phone providers and transportation providers, might possibly disagree with you that “There is nothing, NOTHING, in this world that you need so badly to have to put up with this treatment from people.” But please, put your moral high ground above…

Best of luck to you. Now get some rest!

Sometimes people selling shit on FB are honestly my favorite. To watch a mean queen from high school hawk a pill/system/ihavenoidea that will make you SKINNY and RICH and HAPPY just makes my black soul cackle. I have nothing against her, but man, a little schadenfreude hurts no one and entertains me more than I’d care…

Teenagers are, on average, fucking idiots.

Like, I get there are people who are going to be assholes to others no matter what. Either you’re too fat or too skinny, it doesn’t matter to them, they will try to bum you out. And I get “eat a sandwich” or “ew you can see her ribs” are rude and esteem stabbing things to say to someone, and you don’t tear someone…

Beyoncé knows “La regle du jeu” — better than any PR agent. She will always succeed because she knows how.

Beyonce is overrated, surely.

He seems like a good sport and fun to be around.

OMG COURTNEY F-ING STODDEN.

I recall a case in which a father walked in on someone assaulting his young daughter and immediately killed him. He walked.

I was in my best friend since kindergarten’s wedding last year. She knew I had financial problems and instead of an expensive gift, she asked me to paint her a fingerprint tree for her guest book. I was so relieved to be able to spent so little and give her something I knew she would treasure forever instead. Her…

This. Also, sharing a hotel room with other people (see: the incessant wedding season that is your late 20s) when traveling with my significant other.

I am FOR SURE too old to sleep on a surface that isn’t a comfortable bed. Not worth it. Probably better to stay awake.

pretending to enjoy going to clubs.
shitty music, douchey bros, overpriced drinks, and I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that it’s perfectly okay that I don’t dance.
do. not. dance.

Giving a shit about my physical appearance.

Too old to pretend to be into loud electronica. Or any electronica.

I’m too old to put up with shitty male behavior. I’m sorry, I’ve just had it. The catcalling, the violence, the entitlement, the leaving the seat up, all of it. If you can’t behave like a decent human being, you can get the fuck out.

Let me tell you that I was truly TERRIFIED at the fact that it was not, in fact, the devil and it was two totally normal-seeming people who actually set the whole thing up. I didn’t end up figuring it out so it kinda freaked me out thinking it was this other-worldly thing happening but once the reveal came, I was…