Spoink’s evolved form, Bounce Control, is pretty disappointing. It’s set on a boat and there’s no Keanu Reeves.

For what it’s worth, I actually really liked that there wasn’t a “villain” in the traditional sense for these kinds of movies. I sort of always hated the idea of a high school kid who has zero motivation or desire in life beyond fucking up the life of main characters. I liked that the character who felt closest to…

Drake is corn incarnate. If you put an enchanted stovepipe hat on an ear of corn, it would turn into Drake.

Put your beer in the fry basket, that way they have to refill it.

There’s a St. Vincent’s Hospital near me, which I think means we’re Eskimo brothers now.

I could be way off on the page number. I just remember I started reading a description of this bozo, I turned the page, kept reading the description, went to turn the page again and realized just how long it had been going on for, and that was it. It’s like my arm was possessed.

I was sort of tricked into reading part of Twilight before it became A Thing (“You liked Buffy, right? Try this!”), and it ended almost exactly like that. I spent 80ish pages waiting for a huge plot/tone shift I thought must be right around the corner, because surely my alleged friends must have had a reason for…

I wouldn’t call it a “surprise showing.” Hitboxes have been around forever, and this particular variant has been shared for over 9 months (with the apparently suddenly controversial SOCD method it uses having been around much longer), since well before this year’s Capcom Pro Tour started. There was a lot of time to…

I think this movie is going to be a huge failure and be terrible, but it’s maybe worth pointing out that a live-action movie about a cartoon electric mouse wearing a detective hat being superimposed into a real world has made over $300 million in a few weeks.

Wait, so the haters will *stop* being jealous once Kevin Durant signs there? What are the haters jealous of right now? Lance Thomas?

Baller morghulis.

Elitism and gatekeeping suck, but I think there’s sort of a difference between this and the usual drive-by “consoles are trash, get a PC, idiot!” sentiments. It just seems weird that if you’re the type of person who’s rushing and trying to compete in world first races, you’d do it on a platform that you think has such…

If only Houdini had stayed off Snapchat.

Sure, that sounds pretty bad, but what about me? I had to listen to Marchman on the Deadcast for like a month.

Yeah, it’s bullshit that I have to work harder than the customers at my job.

So I’m not here to tell y’all that white sauce is amazing or anything, but I got it on some BBQ without realizing it was going to happen once (skimmed a menu description, saw “BBQ sauce” and didn’t account for that weird-ass curveball), and it was surprisingly not bad. I wouldn’t pick it first out of a BBQ sauce…

I guess it depends on how you define broadcaster. Or good. Paul Pierce is kind of a great broadcaster if you’re judging him by Stephen A. Smith criteria - he throws out strong, provocative, dumbass opinions that he probably doesn’t believe himself (or maybe he does, I dunno, I’m not trying to make the case that he’s…

Yes, let’s wait until we find out whether her version of events - he groped her and abused their dog - or his version of those events - it was funny, and I only meant to abuse the dog for a little while but then I forgot to stop so it almost died - is true before we go jumping to any conclusions.

Your wife sounds cool, is she single?

Some people go overboard on making their viewing preferences (like knowing as close to nothing as possible going into a movie or whatever) everyone else’s responsibility, for sure. But it didn’t come totally out of nowhere. There’s a whole cottage industry of people who comb through every frame of promotional footage,…