I’m just here to start preemptively eating my shit sandwich, as someone who’s spent plenty of time mocking Jaden Smith in the past for various stuff. If he ends up cleaning up Flint’s water supply, I’ll be the happiest, stupidest, wrongest asshole who ever lived.

“Movies outside of the theater aren't really movies," says Academy whose members primarily vote based on DVDs they receive in the mail.

Almost entirely serious question: is there some kind of competition among authority figures in gymnastics to be the absolute worst human ever? It’s hard to believe so many people could be so thoroughly shitty without gameplanning specifically for that goal.

No more reading for me today, because I’m sure as shit not going to come across a better piece of business than “a manager whose purposeful stride struck every land mine in the field in his first year and offseason.”

What’s with the header images and gifs showing Akira, but not having it in the actual posts?

What’s with the header images and gifs showing Akira, but not having it in the actual posts?

I came here with a similar idea. Billy Bragg seems appropriate today, all things considered.

I think it’s unfair to reduce Mark Hughes to being just a trivia question answer. He also had a pivotal role in one of Mike Goldberg’s most memorably unfortunate statements as a commentator, where he said that Matt and Mark used to go out behind the barn and pound each other when they were growing up.

I’m going to risk losing my white person card by pulling back the curtain here. We’re all possessed by weirdly specific demons who just want to use racial slurs and touch black people’s hair and shit like that. It takes every drop of our willpower to fight them off and stay in control of ourselves. If we falter for…

Some people love America, sure. But see, some of us love America so goshdang much that it transcends the boundaries of what most people would recognize as “love,” and looks to the untrained eye like open rebellion that led to the deaths of around 400,000 American soldiers.

“We’ll have no arguments about it that involve me,” he said, more correctly than he realized, just before being fired.

I have enough blame in my heart for everyone, thank you very much.

Yes, won’t somebody please think of the little guy, by which I mean the guy who’s had the most subscribers on YouTube since 2013?

It sucks that you’ve had several deaths to write about lately, but they’ve all been good reads. I’m mildly conflicted, but overall I wish cool people would stay alive and you could spend more time talking about how Dan Snyder drinks the blood of infants.

This is one of the first “underrated” games I remember hearing about. My first issue of Game Informer was February 2001 (the Metal Gear Solid 2 cover), and they had a feature on “Games the World Forgot,” with Herzog Zwei on the first page or two of it. I didn’t get to play it for a couple more years, but it obviously…

Bill Simmons definitely used a bunch of burner accounts to comment on the Jezebel article about whether squirting is pee.

Or even small quantities. They were only giving away the one Xbox, and look what happened.

I think they were saying the fluid literally smells like the famous drag queen and John Waters collaborator Divine.

The reason this comment thread shows up under “Staff” is because a staff member starred/liked a comment in it. You are bad at conspiracies.

What kind of horrible misanthrope lists assists before rebounds in a stat line? This is weirder than standing to wipe.

Sometimes I think that I had a fever dream of watching a laugh-tracked sitcom about a sitting president which featured an aborted fetus puppet. Nice to run across a comment that affirms it may have actually been real.