Eh, girth has its limits. I dated a guy for a few months and most times we had sex, I bled a little. Because he was giving me a slight episiotomy. Each time. I wondered if I’d eventually get used to it and then I thought “holy crap, I might - and then after that I’ll only be able to enjoy ones this size!” So, combine…

Eh - I’d be OK with that. Less controversial. And inside I’d be thinking “I actually know All the Things about Everything but just don’t want to be judged for it. Ah ha ha ha! Jokes on them!”

Yep.

I’m sad she can’t afford a larger bed.

If I was famous, I would be so irritating to interviewers. Any question which I felt uncomfortable answering, I’d just say “I don’t think I know enough about the subject to give you an informed answer.” And I say that to bunches of questions. I’d be known as the most uninformed celebrity out there.

If those two won’t do it, maybe Ilana and Abbi?

Oh my gosh, SO jealous. My crush has been reinforced. I think I might find it hard to talk to him, because he’s so handsome. I think I’d blush. Constantly. (Because I’m a 40 yr old who hasn’t outgrown blushing)

I know. The first 8 comments I saw were all like that - I thought maybe I was crazy or something. It’s so sad that it’s the impulse control part of the brain that really takes its time developing.

Right? I actually scrolled up to double check where I was.

And you and I aren’t exactly the biggest softies around.

Ok commenters. I get that this was a very dumb thing to do on a lot of levels, but he was still a teenager (a kid in my opinion) and now he’s dead. It’s still sad, whether he clearly made bad decisions or not. Or maybe I’m just being overly-sentimental.

Thank goodness she was super hot. Don’t want his friends thinking he worked with a regular black lady. The horror.

Oh, definitely out of context the comments are meaningless. But sometimes I’ll scroll through the dashboard and then click on a comment and find a whole interesting thread of stuff I hadn’t seen. Overall not particularly useful, but at least I understand it now! I think it’s for my most bored-est moments. ;)

Ohhh, you are so my people. We should hang out. In a seated position.

Exactly - they are truly form over function.

I literally have a scab on my knee right this minute from falling because wedges + cobblestone sidewalk is too much for me (apparently).

“Um, Hi. This is ParkerPosaholic and I need to make an appointment to see my doctor. The problem? Well, I was masturbating and lost a jewel inside my vagina. Yes, a jewel, well, I mean a fake jewel. What, how? Oh, it was shellac’ed onto my fingernail and, well, now it’s missing.”

Life would be SO hard without elbows! Just try it for a minute - it’s like you have robot arms, or zombie arms. Oh god, it’s awful.

Let’s say you follow ten people. If you go up to your profile icon in the upper right corner, you’ll see an option under it called dashboard. Click on that and you’ll see see a thread of all the kinja comments from the ten people you are following. I never knew what the dashboard did, because I wasn’t following…

Whaaaaaaaat?! He’s religious? Damn it, Chuck.