This is golden

It was Thanksgiving dinner and she had spent the entire afternoon split between “educating” us that turkey is really just “big chicken” and about her plans to go to “cheffing school”. No one bothered to question what was going on in her head.

My sister, bless her heart, was eating Thanksgiving dinner when she suddenly spat out a mouthful of Apple pie in disgust. When asked why she complained about the apples in it and said, “I thought that was just a name!” She was 19 at the time.

It looks like it would be itchy. Is it itchy?

I have a chemistry teacher that hails from Texas and he gives us two hour lectures on the nook-you-luss of an atom. It's killing me.

After the wasband and I separated I strapped food, a tent, and a sleeping bad to the back of my bicycle and spent a week bicycling alone across the state of Missouri. I found a trail that spans the state and just went for it. The mountains were hell. One night a tornado made me take shelter in an empty pig sty. I was…

It’s sexist because the insult uses women’s names to imply these athletes are “weak, like a little girl (or woman)“. As it turns out, women don’t like being thought of as beings that are so weak that any reference to our physical prowess is automatically an insult (think “throws like a girl”)

It’s a day ending in y which means as this very article was posting to Deadspin the Riyals were starting a *new feud with the team they are currently in a series with, the White Sox. So...yay consistency?

To publish his name would just garner him followers- which is ultimately what many of them want. So sad but true.

That first number should be a 9

Hoosier here. We already have stores bearing signs advertising their right to refuse to serve Indiana legislators 😍

yasssss. Oldies are the best for this!

My Grandma Mil had those too! I used to pretend they were airplanes. (I was a strange child)

If you are serving scallops on brioche I can assure you your customers will NOT appreciate you asking if they "know what scallops are". People of that caliber do not appreciate wait staff attempting to educate them. Most will be outraged by any such attempts no matter how politely they are made.

a leaning tower of testicles. {cringe}

I think what they mean by "unsafe" is that if the donor has any diseases it could be communicable through the yogurt. Remember, oral sex technically isn't safe sex, it's "safer sex" so this could be an issue for anyone you aren't fluid bonded with. Also, the FDA is also concerned about cleanliness of the facilities…

the groom was unfazed (and possibly jealous that they didn't save one for him). The bride and her entire family looked mortified. I'm pretty sure someone seriously reconsidered the decisions about to be made.

I went to an outdoor wedding where the entire groom's side (men, women, children, gramma...) wore these- over their formal wear and whatever else they had on. They showed up dressed for the wedding and one of the cousins whipped out a few crates and distributed them to everyone. It was...memorable.

Refund? That hitman will never be fund {cough} I mean found again.