yes, THIS! I finally feel not insane for wanting shoes to match my bike (which will no doubt be central to my big day). Maybe my shoes could match HIS bike and his tie could match mine? Too crazy?

I mostly just hope Bart got a new vet- one that hasn't pronounced him dead- to perform the surgery.

What have you learned?

I have played Rainbow Connection at no fewer than three weddings. I believe it.

Keeping that eye out for #2?!

That is probably the weirdest "bridal march" I've witnessed. Worst part? I work in Gary, IN (MJ's hometown) so I totally felt the squick factor about using it to walk down the aisle. But hey, it's HER day.

When my sister got married I wasn't in the bridal party so I offerred to play piano for the ceremony. I've done several weddings in the past and she loved the idea...at first. She said she wanted to walk down the aisle to the Feather Theme from Forrest Gump (I've done weirder) and I purchased and learned the music for…

Shanked. Shiv is the noun, shank is the verb.

Am I the only person that feel like Bang Bang is an ode to ejaculation? In and of itself that wouldn't be a bad thing, but when they get to "Bang Bang, seat of my car" I can only think

okay, I don't like being that person, but when I hear "pregnancy" and "seizures" I think "pre-eclampsia". It's very serious if not treated. If you've never had seizures before, keep an eye on your blood pressure and please seek immediate treatment if your blood pressure is elevated

You are my new hero.

What about the Tango More-peen?

The meaning of the word is defined by Websters. The social acceptability of any slang is decided by the public. And this word has fallen out of public favor. Adjust and move on.

There is no acceptable slang use of the word "rape." End of story. It simply isn't open for discussion. There is NO acceptable slang use of the word "rape."

the handi-dog ramp has worked wonders for my arthritic baby

There's no corn in Gary

I'm a paramedic. People call ambulances for fevers All. The. Time. And I'm not talking 107 degrees, I'm talking, "I don't have a thermometer but I don't feel good and maybe I have a fever?"

It sounds like he Floridated that poor bunny. Seriously, I hope someone Floridizes him. (can we just make the state's name a verb for all the fuckery that comes out of it?)

I am an emergency responder and use a Wouxun as my everyday duty radio- it's way cheaper than the Motorolas my company tried to sell me and works just as well! Plus with the programming cable I can program all my local channels in as needed and even get FM for tunes during my downtime!