Bastards!

Absolutely!

I hesitated since it's Jezebel, and not Gawker, but ultimately couldn't resist. It was too easy, and it had to be done.

Oh you!

Oh, even your GIFs are charming. I'm got going to lie....I'm smitten! I love having a new clever and funny internet best friend. Let's just keep this between the two of us though, so my old best internet friends (ClementineRoundtree, GerbilsOutOfExile, and Skahammer) don't get jealous.

Um, I'm glad you, I mean "she," got it out of your, I mean "her" system.

I've heard Jew in the Box has the worst hamburgers ever.

Let's be BFFs united in our desire to make valid points and corny puns!

Yeah, I thought there was going to be some point to it, like maybe he turned out to be an amazing lover, or they ended up marrying, or something. She seemed surprised that a guy who was a dickish stand up comedian and kind of an asshole wouldn't be good in bed. Really? Hmmm....that is surprising.

I'm also a huge whore by her definition, but I'm a lesbian so I don't know if my sluttiness even counts. Some of the best nights of my life were spent with women I didn't know, but I was attracted to each and every one of them. I never said to myself "this gal seems like a real jerk, and I'm having kind of a crappy…

I love this sentence: "I know, I was trotting on my moral high horse the entire way through, until I dismounted with pity at the end."

should say "never one that was motivated by..."

I like you cassibearRAWR!

You probably have every album that KISS ever put out.

I think Agyness Deyn is soooo gorgeous!

I've had one night stands, but never one night that was motivated by "I've had a horrible night, let me make it worse by sleeping with a disgusting creep." I think that says a lot about the author.

I sat there with my mouth agape watching her speech. It was amazing that the half term governor from backwater Alaska was telling Obama how he should run the country. I'm pretty sure if he wanted her input he'd know how to get in touch with her.

Her comment about Obama and reality TV was astounding, as was her assertion that we should have done more background checks on Obama. Sure, BHO is the person who should have been vetted a little more carefully.

First off, yes, I would like it if Sarah Palin flashed her vagina because I'm a lesbian. Second, Sarah Palin was popular because she shared some of the oil companies' profits with the rednecks who live in Alaska. Each resident got around $3000 dollars a piece (socialism!). Third, shouldn't you be taking care of your…

Let's love people by giving them health care they can't afford. We'll love them so hard they'll get to see Jesus sooner, and that is how you truly love people.