I think we need to start some kind of fake charity, make a million a piece, and hightail it down to the Caymans where we can be employed part time watching Mitt's money. You can bring your wife and child, and I'll find somebody when we get down there. I could seriously spend all my time reading, listening to music,…

Seriously, at some point or another you can only have so many houses, cars, mistresses, diamonds, etc...After the first billion I really just don't see the point. There's a guy (Robert McNair) who lives in my town with a 25,000 square foot beachfront mansion that I think he uses 6 weeks out of the year.

Yeah, I just always figured after the first hundred million there really wasn't any reason to make any more. I'd just sail or travel the world and learn things, or play with my dogs or grandkids. No wonder I'm doomed to be in the 47%!

I genuinely can't figure out what this fucker's agenda is. Does he just want more power? He really doesn't need any more money, so why the hell can't he just leave America alone? He's got to know that cutting $5 trillion worth of taxes is going to be an unmitigated disaster.

I blame Obama!

I've always thought this was the best thing about the Internet.

"That Bachmann would continue to push against the right of her family members even after spending years of her life living alongside an actual gay person she claims to love is a testament to how single mindedly power hungry (or unhinged) Bachmann must be."

When Bill Maher described Frank Luntz (to his face) as "pure evil," Luntz just smiled. He didn't even bother to deny it. I think when the inevitable "end of America" books are written that Ronald Reagan, Karl Rove, Frank Luntz, the Koch brothers, and Grover Norquist will each rate their own chapter.

Grace Kelly made Elizabeth Taylor look like a dewy eyed schoolgirl.

You just described all the elderly Republicans I know! Why don't you join the Tea Party since their philosophy and goals align with your own?

Yeah, they sure fucked up that internet thing! That ridiculous invention created zero jobs or wealth, but what do you expect when you get a bunch of academic eggheads who don't know shit together with a bunch of government bureacrats? We'd have been better off to let Enron handle the whole thing.

Who knows what the hell she's saying? She's just blathering incoherently as usual.

My neice waited on George Lopez in Vegas, and he left her a $300 tip, so that's one tip that's definitely true.

Psst....the 47% is composed of babies who whine and cry because they think they're entitled to food, shelter, medical care, and clean diapers. Socialists!

Texas Conservatives are really going to be upset when they find out that 80% of abortions are performed on minorities.

That's the great thing about being a true believer - if your business succeeds it's because Jesus loves you, if your business fails he's just testing you. Either way, proof that Jesus exists.

I doubt she ever even thought twice about the implications of what she was saying. Why the Dems don't use that little piece of comedy gold I'll never know.

Didn't Palin say that God was going to put the right person in the White House in 2008? Am I to assume that God made a big fucking mistake? How is that even possible since he's infallible? This is all very confusing!

Good lord, man, were you raised by wolves?

I saw her sitting at an outdoor cafe on the Upper West Side in the late 1980s. I've got two words for you - Gore Geous! I'm not embarassed to admit that I walked around the block to take a second look at her. Nope, nothing creepy about that at all.