put it in my veins

LOL. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Is it possible to OD on schadenfreude? Asking for a friend.

Nancy totally stole your lunch money, bubbeleh. Sad!

Mopemobile. 

Gropemobile for the win, Alex!

Instead of stars, I’d gladly accept a couple boxes of hamberders!

Ah, damn it all...

Dude. You had Dopemobile right there.

With his tiny little fingers? That will be so cute!

you’d think it was the single most important black cultural landmark since Martin Luther King.

So the only modern superhero movie you have seen is Wonder Woman?

“Are the Dem going to end up doing what the Reps did in 2016? Having too many candidates, which then leads to split votes, that results in the worst possible candidate getting the nomination.”

Not being a fat pig would help too.

Winner winner, chicken dinner.

This horrible photo will follow him wherever he goes. Even though he will, like every other white man, fail up; I take a little bit of hope in the fact that this will slow his failing up just a bit. I hope that the girl he pines for will never date him because of this photo, and he settles for some off brand Real…

my take away from being in the states,

I hadn’t realized that Martin Shkreli and Ted Cruz had a baby. Good for them!

I don’t see a smile, I see a smirk. And it’s not a confident smirk, either; it’s a smirk that says, shit, I started into this and all my pals— the other kids whose parents’ plunked down $130 for my march-for-life trip to D.C. (which is a million miles further away from home than I’ve ever been)— are watching, so I…

You guys are going to be so heartbroken the first time she has to compromise to get some legislation passed. It’ll be like finding out Santa is just your parents.