Fallon drives me up the fucking wall with his hacky schtick.

I would. I know some people get a Xanax rx just for flying because it makes them so anxious. I’ve never done this, because my anxiety is more ever-present than situational, but I definitely think it’s worth talking to a doctor.

So basically they’re going to pretend the last season of the show never happened.

So Hillary killed this dude but Anthony Weiner’s still alive? Puh-leaze

This stupid show has been on for six years? I’ve never even heard of it.

This show has plenty of flaws, but it has the sort of humor that plays well with marijuana, and watching New Girl high is an exceptionally delightful experience. So I’m told, anyway.

I had the great pleasure recently of kicking some ICE agents off a college campus. I mean, I didn’t actually kick them off, as we have no authority to force them to leave, but I was the administrator who go to tell them why they weren’t welcome and ask them to leave.

I don’t want to post this... oh hell yes I do.

If you have more than two rolls of head fat you shouldn’t be allowed to go on raids

ICE are making the right call here.

I like the fact that in every story involving ICE, the photo is always that fat balding fuck. I identify that fat fuck with the Fat Fuck in Chief that gave him the authority to bully his way into people’s lives. Therefore, it is effective and works. Good Kinja.

How nice to get a sneak peek of the hair color she will have once she spends a few years in the federal pen.

Becoming the poster child for the Aryan nation requires a fair bit of work.

It’s funny that they expect us to believe that’s how she actually looks.... old photos reveal she’s the same chinless bucktoothed pudding as her brothers.... but bam, as soon as you get a jawline installed + a few veneers, suddenly you’re some kinda genetic role model.

She has definitely gotten more surgery since then.

If I saw that goddamned bear looking through my door I’d be making brownies too.

Thanks, kid. Mike Pence also owes me (and every other LGBT person) and every woman in America an apology. But it’s a start.

Congratulations, grads. You managed to take one of the more boring experiences of life (sitting and listening to people dispense mindless platitudes about life) and turn it into an exciting event filled with drama and tension. And you got to make Betsy DeVos appear deeply uncomfortable. You kids are awesome, and…

Same.

Ironically, I would be pretty damn okay with Terry Crews going into politics. Dude has spoken really well on his feminism and he’s funny and supportive. I like the guy!