Zombie Carol Reed and zombie Lionel Bart will rise from the grave to eat his brains.

I know this is a bit of a throw-off snark article, Mr Nolan. But it actually has the seeds of something that’s actually worth pursuing.

This is not so unusual.

I was given a Mason Jar churn for Christmas and whenever I can be bothered, I make my own butter. All you need is 250g of double (heavy?) cream, some muslin and some butter pats.

One can hope.

When I say ‘I have a variety’ that should read ‘a variety of things I agree with’.

Dr Wyman, while I found your talk fascinating, I was worried about the tone you took on this. I was also worried about the history you’re teaching.

Wait till you find out about the ghost dolphins of Oxford St and the ghost apes of Kings Cross - both based on real trufax history stuff.

Especially don’t tell her about the smell when you go under Pierre La Chaisse

No. I AM Princess Anastasia.

Just to pander to all the Americans here, the last team to beat England this badly in terms of little teams giant-slaying was the USA in 1958 when a team of amateurs beat the English professional team.

One of them plays for relegated Charlton. Believe me, that’s not something anyone in south-east London would regard as a recommendation for playing in world sports.

I wouldn’t trust Hodgson to pick up groceries at WalMart.