Any word on whether the whole 'dolphins have sex for pleasure' thing is a myth too?

Aww, come on, don't be that commenter.

I THOUGHT THAT SAID COLIN FIRTH AND AND I GOT WAY TOO EXCITED. My love for him will never die. Even though he's old and squidgy and kind of seems like maybe a gross person irl. So am I. Our love can be gross and squidgy.

Do you need me to tell you how long it took me to get that J-Hova was Jehovah?

Sharon Needles. I just got it.

So is there ever going to be a Jezebel post discussing the disgusting Ike Turner/Mike Tyson lyrics in regards to beating Beyonce's pussy so good? I'm really looking forward to that one.

Dear people who hate gay people because they find butt sex squicky -

Polynesian mythology tells us that trying to crawl back into giant vaginas is always a bad idea. It was the downfall of Maui the Trickster, after all:

Seriously. How I survived the Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey — I snuck in a flask of whiskey. Smoking a joint in the parking lot may also be an acceptable option, but be prepared to wonder what the hell is happening when it wears off halfway through and there's a wizard with birdshit on his head driving a rabbit sleigh…

Are you as shocked as I am that this post didn't include me mentioning Vodka? Not even once! Can I count that as 'progress' for my probation officer or no?

If Smaug was a comment on the Internet, he would be "girl, fuck your cupcakes."

My survival plan is waiting to rent it, opening up a nice bottle of wine, making sure my ipad is fired up and ready to entertain during the dull parts, and making ample use of the pause button (for bathroom breaks) and the rewind button (because even if this movie is endless, I'm guessing I'll want to see some of the…

Victor Garber's INSANELY hot husband Rainer Andreesen anyone? http://www.buzzfeed.com/stacylambe/20-…

We have a free Christmas season drive-home service here in Québec called Opération Nez Rouge (Operation Red Nose in other parts of Canada) but it's geared towards inebriated car-owners: once their phone calls are received, volunteers make sure they get home in one piece and, even more importantly, don't get behind the…

We don't have more trains because various automobile and tire companies conspired to destroy the rail system in the first half of the 20th century.

"An "express line" at coffee shops for people who just want plain coffee. Just plain. No milk. Just plain. Just a cup of plain coffee."

My nana wants like an ambulance service that just picks her up and takes her home from whatever it is she's doing when she can't be bothered doing it anymore. I suggested a taxi but she said her idea also includes gin.

that movie is flawless.

Unconscious airline travel, where you show up at the airport, are ushered into a big room, and given powerful sedatives. You wake up with the flight is already over, in a similar lounge in another city.