I love this story! You're exactly who I want to be when I grow up (in...8 years).

Not to be snippy, buuuut:

Aw fiddlesticks, now I have to go watch it again...

This was hilarious. Just what I needed to motivate my still-hungover ass off the couch and get to the store for some corn triangles and avocado paste. Thanks Doug!

Exactlyy. Sometimes I only have time for coffee or a shower before work, and smelling/looking nice is just never going to be a priority over brain function. No contest.

I have! But then again I have 4c (superduper curly, dry shrink-y) hair, so I'll pretty much always need more oil/moisture instead of trying to remove some.

NOT THE COFFEE.

I think I just found my new Jezebel, for news other than celebrity instatweetchats. THANKYOU!

well, thank you. i have a boner and a new google rabbit hole:"Presidential fanfic"

why are you feeding this guy? You had a good point, and whoever goes by the (lovely) name of sukit67 is both gross and scary-sounding. Don't scratch the fetid ass folds of the internet :/

how did you do this?! I need to make new friends, and get better at Twitter for work. Two birds, one advice stone?

FROZEN PINEAPPLE. omg. my world is rocked. so, so doing that tomorrow, thank you!

I've never really looked at an actual recipe for these :/ I think this one is just kale, coconut milk, silken tofu (or yogurt can't remember!), more kale, a granny smith apple, bunch of honey, fresh ginger, maaybe a persimmon....its pretty much just semi-liquified kale, really.

Yeah mine pretty much max out at 4. I find they last a bit longer if you don't put in dairy like yogurt, BUT YOGURT IS DELICIOUS, so idk :/

its not my whole fridge, but check out this gorgeous smoothie* I made last week

not only is this hilarious, its also the most successful photo/comment aim Kinja has ever produced. Well done indeed!

this should be a meme, right? "I'd rather be scarfed by taye diggs than"....

ooh, Thank you ma'am may i have another *fans self*

the neighbors have you to thank for my extra loud cackling this morning

omg that sounds like the best/worst condition in which to see this. I could be easily convinced that it was a Halloween horrormiracle.