You are a national treasure.

until the colonel removes the cheeto chicken sandwich, a restaurant will be destroyed every night. this i swear to you

I was going to say the Weber 22" but I love me Weber 22" Performer. it gives you some prep space.

I was going to say the Weber 22" but I love me Weber 22" Performer. it gives you some prep space.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

white devils

Raspberry #1? BLASHPEMOUS, look, Raspberries are the goddamn worst.

Oh, you said the last two movies. My bad.

Rogue One’s ending seems like a pretty good representation of how a typical Eagles’ season ends.

Darth Vader forces-hurls a battery at a rebel commando?

I have to disagree with you coach. True championship pee is Burnt Orange.

What about Anal Roberts? What are their recruiting policies?

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

He takes time off every game. It’s called “When he should be playing defense.”

Wife: “How was your day, Joey?”

D.B. Pooper

Speaking of human sexuality courses: a friend had a class at UT with Vince Young and when the professor asked one day for people’s ideas of foreplay, Vince said “that’s like sucking on titties and what not”

Brock Osweiler hasn’t made it to Clevelenad yet and he’s had a shit burger.

History books will one day cite this as the deathknell of market-based capitalism:

I think your anger is going in the wrong direction. The researcher has the responsibility to present his research unvarnished by personal opinions. This is the attitude he gathered in his research, not his personal opinion. This guy has spent his life researching, writing about, and educating people about white…

I would say Rodgers is mailing it in, but apparently no one’s received even a birthday card from him in years.