But... but.. his mom was supposed to be so awesome, and he was such a swell young fella when they drafted him!? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN AFTER SUCH GLOWING TAKES?

Why didn’t he just get her a pair of cargo shorts, really?

I think we’ve found the spiritual successor to Hemingway’s “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

“USING MASSAGING URETHRAL VAGINAL STONE BALLS & THE STRING HOLDING 15 BALLS TOGETHER DISSOLVED, CAN ONLY FIND 14 BALLS” 

If he was holding the hammer when he walked out of the house, and held it even slightly outward while telling the guy something vaguely threatening, even if he wasn’t screaming that he was going to bludgeon him with the hammer or something, that would be enough for the police to do this.

Because police.

DONDER?

DONDER?

Donner is the name.

As in the German word for “Thunder” to go along with “Blitzen,” which would be the word for.... YES! LIGHTNING.

Pedantry over with. But seriously...

Also, Santa Claus moves nearly at the speed of light. Have you not read the physics breakdown on how much he’d have to move? 650 miles…

I’m not partial to attending cross burnings, so no. :)

Are you talking about a guy who really thought he might get his country into the EU, or a guy who really thought it was a good idea to get out of NAFTA.

I’m bad with acronyms.

Well, if Enes Kanter does get injured this season, we can assume it will only be because he tripped over his own, gigantic, massive balls.

So, for all here... I don’t think it’s a fixie. It’s just a plain old kids bike with one gear.

But still.

Sidenote: I bet she’s eating eyeball tacos. Because she’s more adventurous than your kid.

I HATE that ad almost as much as I hate everyone in an ad for Jaguar, Lexus, or any other luxury car company around the…

I’d probably stay on the couch in that case, and see what happens next year. I think I have a year of sitting at home eligibility left. I redshirted.

The first gen 2.5 N/A (I think it was on the 2014s) was found to consume oil, sometimes over a quart between oil changes. The grand result was that as a “fix” on the 2015s, Subaru changed the oil change interval from 7500 miles to 6000 miles. Note that they didn’t change anything else on the service interval, so oil…

Given our matching stat lines, I expect to be competing with you for the job in training camp.

Head gaskets are really where you’re going to plant your flag to defend Subaru? I mean... yes, NOW that’s the case, as of ten hot picoseconds ago in geological time.

Subaru cannot (as an owner of a 2015 Fozzie with the N/A 2.5, I know it’s not the STI engine, just saying though) figure out why they consume oil now,…

I get up at 5:20 am every day to take a two hour commute to work in NYC. On weekends, my wife works almost every weekend through most of the year... When she is home, she’s exhausted, and needs to get sleep.

Are you following the logical thread here? One person in my house never, ever, ever gets to sleep later than…

When you’re generally waiting to be blinded or burned by an arc or heated rivet (historically,) or have parts of your body irreparably crushed by huge, swinging, heavy objects, I can see the need for some brisk emphasis when you’re trying to get your point across :)

Mine has (at 7) figured out that she can go sneak down and put the roku on if we don’t wake up on weekends. Unless the remotes are hidden, she doesn’t wake us up now.

In fact, even without videos playing, she got through shutting all the alarms off on my wife’s iphone so that she got an extra two hours of quiet time…

Spoken like someone who played the Sims.

The Knicks are the exception to this rule... they’re both always crappy (when limiting sample size to the last 16 years) and always underperforming expectations due to media market size. :D

I hated the Giradi firing. I’m kind of ambivalent about Boone, and while I get grabbing Stanton, tactically, I feel like the team next year will be way less of a joy to watch.

[Hopes against hope that at least Schalke can hang on to Goretzka. Knows it won’t happen. Eats bunch of sour grapes about all of this.]