He didn’t commit suicide. He murdered himself for the money. I’m... wow.

Remember back when all they suggested was that Jeter had AIDS?

A simpler time.

A kla$$ier time.

So, what the hell is LeBron wearing? It looks like he’s the press secretary for a rebel guerilla army.

At that speed, even a full face motorcycle helmet is of dubious value. There isn’t much you can do in a helmet that can be of manageable weight and size to slow down your head from that kind of an impact. Even at <30, you have a solid chance (again, in a full DOT/Snell certified motorcycle helmet) of walking away…

I guess Billy Bush was too busy never working again.

What’s the sound of one hand not caring?

I loved watching Paris Dennard and Jason Miller get their assorted manties twisted trying to explain on CNN how much they loved laughing and comedy, but that THIS was just PAST the PALE. Chinless skidmark and the Fresh Prince’s cousin... good lord.

There was a joke about that as well... that apparently one of the women in the audience was ovulating, so Pence wasn’t allowed to go. “THANKS LADIES. Now we don’t get hang out with Mike Pence. [mouths ‘thank you’ in sincere fashion]”

Wait! You mean you can’t just leave your child at home while you go on vacation??

I never knew that. Learn a little something every day. No wonder they’re always so upset when my wife and I pack the dog up to go vacation in exotic places.

Amazing. Apparently Jobu finally stopped working for Dilfer.

I feel like we’ve culturally completely lost our right to be surprised that people in police states “didn’t do something about it.” All we do as a nation is scold people for stepping out of line, whether they get tossed off a plane, pepper sprayed, or shot... “well, they told you not to.”

WHAT ARE THESE BAGS MADE OUT OF?!

I hope it’s a Turd Taco.

My godmother paid for a vanity plate because she wanted to keep the prior randomly allocated plate number. She was in her 70's and had it down pat, and didn’t want to have to memorize a new plate number. She also had a small copy of it as her keychain. I always loved that, it was so oddly practical, and something…

The tough part is that the GOP owns the “tough on crime” part of the map. They could easily pivot and accept marijuana legalization, without ceding much. Democrats have a harder time suggesting any softening of criminal justice policy because they’ve been beaten with the “soft on crime” stick for, well, basically…

We’re creating a whole generation of aggressive, preening, sore winners. All the messaging on every stupid t-shirt is about the WINNER. The WINNING. How to revel in the defeat of others. I saw a shirt recently for a 5-year old in the boys’ section that had block caps on it saying “WITNESS THE STRENGTH.” Good god.…

I think everyone on this site has very clear ideas now about how wrong everyone else is about how they wipe their asses. TOO MANY SQUARES! TOO FEW SQUARES! FROM THE SIDE? FROM THE FRONT? STANDING UP? SITTING DOWN?

I live in New York. I’ve been to the funerals of people in my life who’ve died. That’s like saying you don’t eat lunch because you’re from Wichita.

Having had an immediate family member die in the past year, it’s really remarkable how the traditional tasks and steps help you emotionally get through. I’d never sat down with a funeral director before. I’d never done countless things that were part of being that close to it. The funeral itself, the more…

WORLDSTAR! WORLDSTAR!!! OH SNAP!