Some mornings I wake up to pure Twitter gold.

“inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, “We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage””

this is one of the best up close guns... if you can aim

When you’re trying to get in the left turn lane but there’s a median preventing you from cutting in early and the car in front where the turn lane starts has a 15 foot gap they refuse to close so you’re stuck waiting and miss the turn signal.

It bugs the hell out of me when other people are on the road when I am. The nerve.

The Blue Klux Klan.

Police departments don’t work with right-wing terrorist groups.

“I’m a piece of shit and I don’t care” is what you just said.

most people also don’t post multiple times in the same comment field to passive-aggressively defend some washed-up youtuber desperate for attention after outing themselves as a compulsive liar

Walks out on my family and pops back into my kids’ lives after they’ve grown up

Feeling guilt doesn’t absolve you of what you did bro. What are you doing now to help those who really are ill? Are you making a donation? Are your future donations going to those who truly need it?

“I am of the opinion you should be able to joke about anything you want as long as it’s funny, but in this case, it really wasn’t funny,” he said. “I really don’t have an excuse. I mean, what can I say, I just really love the feeling of taking someone for a ride.”

He has been repeatedly disciplined for not following the PD’s professionalism policy so can they not just fire the punk bitch?

More than one person rebuked Poblocki and his actions. One witness, who was white, told Poblocki that he considered what he was doing to be harassment. The witness filed a complaint that same day with the Office of Police Accountability (OPA)

Mercury Monarch/Ford Granada? Nah. You president has the Ford Fairmont/Mercury Zephyr as his spirit animal. Completely forgettable vehicle with no redeeming qualities whatsoever from an era of automotive mediocrity that could only have produced vehicles like these with no form, substance or purpose.

OMG THERE’S A BUG IN FACETIME! EVERYBODY PANIC! DISABLE FACETIME! NO! IT’S TOO LATE FOR THAT! JUST THROW YOUR IPHONE IN THE RIVER OMG IT’S THE END OF ALL THINGS!

Nice product placement Dupont!

Evidently I’m the only person who things the car did what it should have.

Full disclosure: I am in the industry and run the teams that develop this kind of tech. I would also agree that is how I’d want it engineered. Moving sideways = loss of control + Impact (pothole) = airbag deployment.

I think its good that it went…

The Queen song that gets stuck in my head is, “I Want to Break Free,” and the video is part of it. Not the funny Coronation Street part, but the weird Freddie Mercury cow print leotard part.