Mauer? Morneau? Two guys who won MVP in Twins’ uniforms from the last 15 years?

No cap, no max contract size, no draft, no college basketball, and the bottom four teams at the end of each regular season get relegated to a semipro league and replaced by that league’s top four teams.

Concussing the other catcher? That’s a plunking.

Inside sources say this will be the new company logo:

If he had ended up on teh cowboys and Emmitt was on the lions Barry would have had 25k yards rushing and emmitt would have been a night manager at a bowling alley after 3 years in the league.

I’ve never seen anything blown up so fast in Oklahoma City.
-Mayor David Holt

Unless things have changed since the early 2000s, the guy with the restraints is an actual Chicago cop. Which explains his struggle to put a white person in handcuffs.

He is a way better GM than LeBron.

His profile has been raised to the upper echelon since leaving SA. Whether it is his catch phrase, his laugh, or him beating the world devouring Warriors, people that are casually aware of the NBA now know who he is and he about to play in the country's second largest media market. His finances are fine without you…

As usual, he’s got no defense for these sorts of actions.

Meanwhile, Dan Shaughnessy’s left doing the chores:

All good points, but Rapinoe also celebrated a goal too much, so who’s really the bad one here?

FanGraphs is a little more generous about how Harper’s performed this season, but even their calculations put him on pace for an unimpressive 2.3 WAR by season’s end, which would be the lowest of Harper’s career outside of his injury-shortened 2014 season.

This is a franchise that surrounded LeBron James with Michael Beasley, Javale McGee, and Lance Stevenson. They might not know what they’re doing. 

At least AD finally got away from that incompetent franchise that squandered his early prime! He’s gonna love playing with DeShawn Stevenson, Jamario Moon, Andris Biedrins, and some other guys I’m currently remembering.

you knew they were gonna run into bookkeeping issues seeing as how Pelinka’s never really been around a ledger before

Could you be more specific?

Petition to call people Magikarps more often

“It’s not something we wanted to have happen. It didn’t have to go this route,” says spokesperson for sheriff’s office that has chosen to make this happen by going this route.

I can tell you how this is gonna play out now. He’s probably already back in Canada, so he’s out of their jurisdiction. And the Canadians won’t extradite one of their own. But Batman has no jurisdiction.