blues fan, huh?

Ooooh, I missed a golden opportunity:

But you did stay at a Holiday Inn Express!

That's my favorite pickup line.

I’ll doctor your pelvis.

“Those hips don’t lie.”

I get it sucks for those people, but can you really blame the Orioles for not paying the people that work in the franchises inside the stadium. I think those Subway/Mcdonald’s/whatever employees should get their due, but it should be from their employer, not the third party owner of the building the establishment is…

“This perverted, pantsless, hairy mascot was the face of a historic professional sports franchise.”

has earned the Arena Football equivalent of being waived

F-ed up, but still more action than Mayweather-Pacquiao.

I like Corey Crawford because he’s an athlete I can relate to. He gets drunk and falls down stairs, I get drunk and fall down stairs. We’d have a lot to talk about.

If they had any sense at all, they would have immediately started vigorously jerking him off.

If he were really smart, he would have changed it to Trill Will Cauley-Flower.

According to the card, they’re also officially fighting for the “Weleterweight” titles, so...congratulations, Manny, I guess.

Thats not in the Bill of Rights, neither is employment.

Would that be the sound of millions simultaneously realizing they’d all been duped and that they had nobody to blame but themselves at the same time?

“I wish I was unbeaten.”

Dude, you’ve already made this joke today, let it go.

In communist russia the pole positions you

Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that it’s fine if women want to focus on this aspect of La’el Collins’ life. I GET THAT. AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT. But at the end of the day, I’m a football fan, and we want to see great players be great and that’s what I’m concerned with.