Well I'm a gay dude but the same probably applies. You know, humor is probably what's missing, you have probably nailed it.

What do you say in messages? I've been on OKCupid off and on for a while, and I get a lot of "likes" and they sent me an email telling me I'm "hot", but I almost never get messages (despite the fact that I almost always respond so assume my profile should be marked responds frequently) and, when I do send messages,…

Your reply popped up just as I was hitting send up top. Like I said there, he lives in a different part of the state, and told me to get in touch next time I'm there—which I had told him I am somewhat regularly. That may have been a cue that he isn't much interested in chatting until then, but it could be months.

Yeah, I don't disagree, but that's what I don't get about people. Why would he reach out the next day, unprovoked, very clearly interested, and then never respond again? Ugh.

That's kind of what I figured. What, this weekend then?

I met this guy at the bar after pride, and we were pretty much all over each other but didn't go home together. He sent me a very charming message the next day inviting me out again and making his interest pretty clear, but then didn't respond when I wrote back (saying I probably couldn't make it). On Monday I texted…

Thanks everybody. This is obviously all from my perspective so it's inherently biased I guess but it feels better to at least not be called out and that people seem to be reasonably supportive. Honestly just typing it all out made me feel a lot better. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read my huge wall…

I guess another part to this question is, am I an asshole? I have a lot of issues but I feel like I was always pretty upfront about it (ie, when we met I told him I was not a very sexual person, told him I had never wanted to be in a serious relationship, etc.).

Dear Savage Dick (and the savage commentariat),

The current lingo has GSM, gender and sexual minorities, as the catch-all for what is essentially anyone who is not a monogamous heterosexual. Queer is reserved for gay or bisexual (etc) identities.