It’s also gaslighting extraordinaire- regardless of the cause, we all heard and saw him sniffling.

Am I the only one really confused by this vehement denial that he had “the sniffles”?! I mean, sorry dude, the whole world watched you twitch and sniffle--bad mic (?) or not, it wasn’t manufacturing the sound AND FACIAL MOVEMENT of man sniffling.

Best part is that it was on TV.

Likely it didn’t happen because her parents were smart enough to vaccinate her.

They should sell some Saleen brand saline solution, because I need some serious relief after the damage that photoshop job did to my eyes.

It was too risky. The straight path to the locker room cuts directly through a day care.

It's gotta be nice for the rich fans to see concussed dudes or guys that just had their knees detonated dragged by for their Viewing pleasure while eating steak and sipping $10 beers

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

tangent time: I used to be house manager for my fraternity house back in college (this means I fix the toilet when you break it, among other responsibilities. It was a godawful job, but not thankless. I got money off my rent. Anyway...) and one day I was out at a warehouse picking up furniture to replace furniture…

Exhaust (cat back) can easily be taken off and sold on craigslist after the lease. I had a complete aftermarket sound system put in my Silverado lease. Head unit, 2 amps, subs and door speakers. That is when Best buy would take that out and put in factory for free at lease end if you bought everything from them.

Not the hero we deserved, but the one that we ordered.

You’re my gyro

Sounds like he thought he was Reuben Hood.

Shoulda gone to sandwich defence class.

why are all the cops driving unmarked minivans / truck / suvs?

Wait... so she broke her arm so bad her legs didn’t work? She couldn’t walk on her own; maybe just holding mom’s hand?

The New York Post covered this story this morning, but their headline said: Typical Millennial Asks For A Free Ride

And, sadly enough, you know damn well she’s gonna get said gig, too. 50 internet dollars says they were dialing her number before the Skrillex intro music faded out.

The sad thing is, this is how the world really works.

Because when you want hard-hitting perspective about how the world really works, you go to a 24 year old blond who's putting together an audition reel for a sweet FoxNews gig.