Just in case anyone wants to know how to clean an oriental rug... You need a big tarp (small pieces can be washed in a bathtub, though), some white vinegar, and a shampoo for farm animals called Orvus paste. You first make sure that you have no evil bleeding synthetic dyes (take a damp white facecloth and press hard…

Springsteen has had a long history of these issues. I’m an old, so I remember when he demanded that Reagan quit using “Born in the USA.”

Some Vatican flunky will be losing their job over this little boo-boo.

She would take both bottles and chug them, and yell at you for drinking them.

Glenn Beck may not claim membership directly, but his blather is right out of their handbook. I grew up in conservative Orange County, CA, in the 60s-70s (yeah, I’m an old) where the Birchers were strong, and it is weird to see this nonsense continue to thrive in the right-wing paranoidosphere.

Here, for Sarah’s benefit, is the way the conversation should have gone... Ahmed shows clock to teacher. Teacher says, “Whoa, that’s impressive! How does it work?” Ahmed demonstrates how his clock works. Impressed teacher encourages him to put the clock in the science fair. Win-win!

I would vote for Judge Judy over Carly Fiorina in a heartbeat...well, if I gave a shit about the Republican nomination circus. But, Judge Judy should get in on this GOP primary season—she’d CLEAN UP!!

I resisted too. And then I was hooked—candy corn and dry roasted peanuts. Heroin.

Really?! I think Ellen would be a great president.

Understood. Yeah, she’s not vindicated in real life, but in zealot-life she has convinced herself of vindication. This is even more irritating than actual vindication.

I crave all forms of comeuppance in this instance. Though maybe she’ll have a fling with Huckabee. That’d be good.

Urgh. There are few things more irritating than a vindicated zealot.

YES!! Bring back Algonquin to American schools!

Whoo-hoo, time to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s, baby...

The best defense against a bad guy with a gun is... a hero kitty...Kitties 1/NRA 0

Well, I guess it depends on whether you think “ambrosia” is three or four syllables. I went with three. So, 5 syllables-7 syllables-5 syllables, no? Oh well. Because I was praising Sriracha, my poem was ineffably perfect in all ways. Or there’s always—

Sriracha is bliss; ambrosia and perfection; nothing else matters. Yes, that is a haiku.

We lived in a subdivision with the houses all very close. It was summer and we were eating dinner on the patio. So everyone around us heard/saw when my mom was drunk and lost her shit and got mad at my dad (who was also drunk), and she cleared the table by throwing all the dishes into the kitchen from the patio. All…

Seems like that same standard of justice wasn’t applied to, say, David Petraeus...