It turns out that the B we weren’t supposed to trust was Beek the whole time.

Do special awards count, though? If an award is not obtained through a win then there should be an asterisk! AN ASTERISK!

Teku glasses must be eliminated I say! ELIMINATED!

Knee Deep has been brewing Breaking Bud for a few years now, I wonder what made Sony decide to bring this up now.

So I’m guessing there won’t be any scenes of her flying through the skies on a vacuum cleaner?

I mean, 7-Eleven did do Simpsons donuts when the movie came out as part of a larger promotional push with Squishee cups and crap*.

Brunette Zooey is the tulpa of blonde Zooey, who is still in the lodge and can’t leave.

I mean, there’s a reason why he’s called the big red cheese.

Dan Quayle is hoping for his comeback moment with this.

One day, I want Charles Barkley to host and Gnarls Barkley* be the musical guest**.

I hope his character lives in a mid-century sea ranch. Or, I guess, an era appropriate sea ranch?

Where the heck is our gosh darn spoiler space for this movie? 

This is true.

Until they change the BJCP guidelines they will not get more than one out of three! It’s not to style! Throw it into the experimental category, ya doofs!

The producers are obviously Team Dean. 

F for Flashtastic! 

But will we get a poorly thought out body swap episode featuring James Van Der Beek?

Re-upping the fact that David Carr recognized Vice for their bullshit several years ago.

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Oddly enough, the header image for this Newswire is 10x better than the one the New Yorker chose for the story.