Weekend Box Office: Bourne in the U.S.A.

*Looks around hurriedly*

Every time glance at an article about The Bachelorette I keep thinking to myself, "Wait, JoJo is back? The singer? Oh, ohhhhhh." Then I go on with my life.

Is anyone's hat like a shark's fin?

Yeah but once you're full up on that sweet THC you'll forget all about Taco Bell and head to Jack in the Box instead.

In high school the food carts we had on campus sold these things called Pizza Sticks (Stix?). Basically imagine a pizza hot pocket but thinner and more stretched out and cost about $1.50 or something.

Yeah but will Jonny give anyone the herp?

Welcome to 2008, Internet.

I can get over not having the red trunks but that belt is just atrocious. I'd rather have it thinner and be more yellow-dominant.

No, NO, no no no no no. You've gone too far, Internet.

Don't bring Pacey into this.

But the real question people hope gets answered: whatever became of Tristan?

I feel like the news of Lady Dynamite's second season should be its own newswire.

No no no no no, it's supposed to be Professor Xavier's son that has multiple personalities.

Towards the end of the video they listed some of the voice cast. And no, it looks like they aren't.

Wow, that seems like a horribly characterized Zatanna if the description they gave is anything to go by.

Is THAT why my letters to Cleo were returned?!

Boo that headline! BOO IT!

Did she call dibs?

It also helps that Woodley is a Sanders delegate, or at least was, she might be an at-large-delegate now.