The moment I got my own apartment in college I started playing music when I took a shower. However, being a poor college student, I was unwilling to splurge on a speaker system. So what I did was cranked my phone's volume to high and stuck it into a bowl.

Fool me…you can't get fooled again.

The audience are the ones who are truly miserable, having to be subjected to another adaptation.

Did they not finishing sanding down the costume before shooting? What? It's supposed to look like that?

So does that mean I have to change the title to my screenplay, "Before I Woke?"

But will it come back in pog form?

Always two there are—no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.

Maybe you were just randomly assigned an eggmate by Egg Housing using one of those arbitrary algorithms—you both said you “like movies” and are non-smokers, which to those idiots means you must be perfect eggmates. Those guys don’t care. Or maybe you found your eggmate on Craigslist and you don’t really speak to each…

Don't worry, it's always darkest before the dawn.

Is it really considered a supergroup if it's just a few people from one band plus a dude from another?

That looks like the kind of last minute gift you buy for your niece or nephew in that sketch looking downtown bodega.

You guys think he and Melania Trump are in a support group together overseen by Shia LaBeuof?

Oh, I misread that as Clone High. Now I'm sad.

I did not know they were making a cartoon series for Inside Out starring ducks. I kid, I kid but fingers crossed for an eventual Quack Pack revival.

I mean, to be fair, the signing of Timofey Mozgov is ridiculous.

The developers have said there's going to be some kind of detective mode in the game.

Man, I think even Kanye has a better looking fashion line.

Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

Oh sure, they say the meetings start at 6 p.m. but then they have a closed session right before that can drag on until 6:30 p.m.!

They're eating Papa John's pizza!? Now that's really something people should be outraged about.