But no one can fuck you while your head’s in your ass! It’s only when you remove it that you become fuckable!

Then he can always come down with a case of Kobe P.R. number switch. He’ll be a brand new guy who didn’t rape anybody!

Yup.

First step: do not move to North Carolina.

Ode to Sean Hannity 
by John Cleese

A whole squadron of turds gave Libby Watson some seriously sexist and paternalistic bullshit last week.

They just prefer Americans to Canadians.

Why is Jeremy Piven talking to a ball of flaxen yarn?

Ahh... in that case, just substitute peacoat for sweater and it still works.

But that’s also about the time (depending on location) when you put your favorite sweater away for the year, and some people just can’t deal with it.

Hope and Change have the power to short circuit reason. Tell people what they want to hear and they will listen to you, and give you two years to make good on your promises.

Maybe this time we’ll learn our lesson!

Not speaking out while bridges are burning around you is effectively the same as burning bridges yourself.

Dude’s eggs are scrambled to oblivion. It is quite possible he used to be able to read.

Counter-counterpoint: everyone should start doing crank, cuz why the fuck not.

Don’t be ridiculous. November and December are the least suicidal months of the year in America.

“I have been bested.”

This is Roy Cohn 101, which is just a tiny hop from Goebbels.

10. neural pathways