The answer is clearly this 1989 Mitsubishi Montero 2-door. It's 4WD. It's boxy. It has a manual transmission. It will take you anywhere, and you can be proud to say you drive a car otherwise known as a Pajero in other, more civilized places. It's barely been used, a scant 143K on the clock. Burns oil? So what,…

Ballghazi! Ha! Move over, Watergate - as scandalous suffixes go, you been one-the-fuck-upped!

Holy fucking shit. Matt's friend Brian...his little tale is the most soul/ball-crushing thing I've read in a long time. Bill Simmons' immutable law that "there is nothing so cruel as a woman in her 20's" holds fucking true. Fuck.

Well, this is proving remarkably sage with 9 minutes to go in the 4th quarter.

Spanish speakers everywhere will be confused by the Volt and Bolt!

Was that an off-brand "Also sprach Zarathustra" playing in the background?

NO THAT'S WRONG YOU'RE LYING

Gotta be mid-90's, maybe 95.

The AW11 MR2.

I know that most people despise the "retro-future" design fad, but...Volvo, could we get a RWD, 4-cylinder turbo brick? A re-imagining of the 240? Maybe? Please?

Depends on how it's geared, but yeah. I learned on a 500cc Suzuki with less power than this, and it was great everywhere except for the freeway.

^ that. That right there. The late 70's V8 Vantage was a stonkingly beautiful car.

AEGIS isn't an acronym, or a ship class. You're looking for Ticonderoga-class cruiser and a Spruance-class destroyer. The SpruCan, of course, was the basis for the Ticonderoga class hull, which means it's a freaking destroyer the size of a cruiser.