These guys sound a lot like a good buddy of mine who’s from Cork.

I just saw a lineup card for Friday. At 3B he has Kobe Bryant.

Maybe we should go in the opposite direction and have a maximum age, after which you have to leave planet earth and stop using its resources. How about 55.

Nice.

Volleyball eephus

My first thought was that if “safety” is harmed by people getting hit by cars, maybe we should get rid of the cars, not the people.

Is there a plugin that reroutes every soccer post to the latest outfield assist highlight? I’d rather watch a Cuban hurl a tiny ball 350 feet to a pinpoint spot where a masked man touches a runner with his glove before the runner’s fingertips sweep around to graze a dusty white pentagon.

I can’t make it through six-second vines of soccer bros doing fancy shit with balls. I get bored after the third second.

Ugh. These posts! When a shortstop makes an athletic stop of a hard grounder do we call it a “robbery” of a single? I mean, yeah, it was a well-timed jump, but the hit was not really classifiable as a tater, donger, or anything like that. It was a deep sac fly doing what it was supposed to do: score a run.

Maybe those islands in the South China Sea can be good for something.

Alt headline: Athlete Excited for Exhibition Game.

Apparently, Draymond was really excited for the Exhibition Game.

Major League Baseball games would be about 30% faster if they just ban fucking velcro.

Indeed, the list of people who are better scramblers than Tom Brady is a long one (David Ortiz, Bartolo Colon, Giselle Bundchen). That is precisely what it makes it a clown question.

Exactly. It was his own version of “That’s a clown question, bro.”

I’m still trying to figure out how wearing the world’s ugliest uniforms is good for business. Is the play on the field that boring that they have to humiliate the players? Why not have tutu night or tarzan night? What is this single-A endless parade of promotions shit?

Do they need a running back? I know one who will play for free.

Agree, but until then, the Steelers should move to Pueblo or Colorado Springs or Walla Walla.

Not sure why it’s such an accomplishment if he can’t hit the strike zone with that heat. Velocity without control is pretty useless. And a lot of guys have hit high speeds, but couldn’t maintain it over the long haul. Nolan Ryan’s place in history is pretty secure.

Fitz is holding out for another team’s starting quarterback to get punched in the jaw by a teammate.