If Deadspin has a physical office I imagine it has a whiteboard with 300 ways to say “hit a long home run.” We’re like two days in and we’re at slapped a donger. Maybe there aren’t 300 ideas up there after all.

Come on. A real MLB team would completely ignore the rookie after his first homer.

Someone quick write a fake Wikipedia entry with Meldonium as one of the former Soviet republics.

I’m starring this comment so I can preserve it for later.

Yeah, I wondered if this would start a beanball war. What does the Respect the Game crowd think the pitcher should have done?

In fairness, DeMuth worked his way up in the business as an umpire crew chief for Major League Kickball.

I call bullshit. Sure, her Daddy worship comes off as really believable and she wears licensed apparel well, but that kid has zero dance moves and no comedic timing. I bet when the network cameras are rolling she wilts under the pressure.

Recording of the plaintiffs meeting just before they filed this suit.

Throw out this suit. No plaintiffs from Quincy. It doesn’t count.

And yet you posted here. Bravo.

Really clever, except for Occam’s Razor: They let the manufacturer in China handle the design.

No, I think they looked at global warming projections. Eastern shore will be reduced to the size of Cape Cod. Buzzards Bay will be as big as the Chesapeake. Post-apocalyptic gangs of roving Connecticut residents will steal the Southern Berkshires for firewood. The two states will be indistinguishable. Way to think…

Agreed. Noble would be figuring out a way to educate the so-called student-athletes so they have something to fall back on when their NCAA-inflated dreams are shattered and so the rest of the students don’t have to feel cheap for attending a university that gives out sham degrees.

Lines of Tigers and Bears, OH MY!

Hinjew family here. My wife kept her Indian last name and I kept my Jewish last name. We agreed on a naming convention before we had kids: boy would be “firstname momlastname dadlastname” and girl would be “firstname dadlastname momlastname”. After all, middle names are sort of useless. We got lucky and had one of…

I got a hold of the transcript:

Time for me to admit this. I am extremely dumb.

This looks like Washington, DC. Old DPR HQ field on 16th St.

Utter lack of Nae Nae on that first base dance.

Can’t really compare Peyton’s first half (worst QB possibly ever) with his late season self, when he played his role pretty well and at least stopped throwing ducks to the other team. Through rest and rehab, he patiently worked his way up to mediocre.