I think a better solution would be instead of boards, have a ledge that players will fall over and then a Turtle on a cloud with a fishing pole rescues them and drops them back in the middle of the ice.

You can pour it on his heaaaaad... YES!

2 minutes for ruffing.

Okay guys, we get it, you don't have to say it "83" times.

Yaaar!

Nuts! You beat me to it!

By cracky!

Adam Dunn: That's easy. Watch. I'm juxtapose to hit home runs, but I usually end up striking out instead. If I'm not shitting the bed, I'm probably dealing with consternation. Adam Dunn... more like Adam Dunnohowtotakeawalk, AMELIORATE?!!

The Chiefs were almost forced to get rid of the war drum last season. But then they finally got Andy Reid to stop eating all the drumsticks.

"I think a lot of Natives would embrace that, because you came to us and asked a good way of doing it and your fans would learn something," Learned says. "We would like to teach about our culture. The Chiefs have the opportunity to teach this, and everybody wins. … The Chiefs are making money off Native American…

He smoked a J;
Then took a P;
And somehow A
Had more than B.

Jay Cutler and Jordan Palmer drive around in Cutler's van. The cabin is so full of cigarette smoke, Cutler can't see where he's going and rear-ends Marc Trestman's car. They get out of the van to assess the damage.

Would be much cooler if it was only done for current players who have won a title. So, you know, you don't get the right to a gold "mark" just because your team won it 30 years ago.

Chris Paul is dead, and has been secretly replaced by Cliff Paul.

agreed - hopefully it just stays on deadspin to avoid that problem.

Like anyone can even know that

Whoa whoa whoa, can I get tits on my newspaper's front page???

But didn't you hear? Only bridesmaids spend tons of money.