anyone who is truly upset by this, needs to step back and appreciate the microcosm it represents of our actual government.

i don't know if i have the kinda cred around here to suggest nominations, but the sentient golf cart had me laughing for days

haha no, probably not. poor guy. i didn't mean for that to come off as insensitive as it did.

steve was my first rounder in fantasy hockey. trent richardson in football. it is safe to say i'm not having the best year ever.

severely lacking "fluffhead"

pick a color, any color. i'm just glad they don't have sleeves. fucking SLEEVES, man. what is HAPPENING HERE?!

why does it appear that the sperm are traveling TOWARD the football-dick? this has bothered me for several jambaroos now.

happy bearthday!

let me back onto the roof during boneyard shootouts! it's not exploitative, it's good strategy!

i'm sure the other 26,000 people all had their tablets out watching ellen, too. in fact, all the fans watching at home or in bars in chicago or elsewhere all agreed at a secret meeting during the offseason that as long as the televisions are turned on, (for ratings purposes, ya know, to troll the rest of THE FUCKING…

i love hating religion

i'm fairly convinced he isn't going to make it out of this.

right? all these haters are hatin, and i'm all like, "quick, lemme organize and hold an golf tournament in my front yard."

this is how it begins.

damn this annotation system straight to hell. i SWEAR that box was tactically placed over that weirdo's face.

welcome to LIFE, kid!

also, "hunter shitters"

"sandman flute" sounds like a solid kinja handle.

no broncoberry sauce from arby's?!